I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
