i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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