rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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