There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
