Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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