Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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