Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
