this beer tastes like vomit already
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
