I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
