sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
