you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
