You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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