yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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