some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
