Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i've created a new STD.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
