the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
