You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
