Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
