omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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