so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
