Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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