but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
they need to just BURY HIM!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
