your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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