I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
