I think I died a long time ago.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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