I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
