i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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