I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
