can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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