he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
