I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
