You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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