The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
