I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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