Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize