I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
