mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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