does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
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