OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
