HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
How external is "for external use only"?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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