you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
