Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
