Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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