Plan B is the new Plan A
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
