Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
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