There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
