so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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