Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
