Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
