If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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