Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
